Friday, August 20, 2010


Ok, before I start, I just want to say that this article was in no way written to offend or prejudice any contestant or person in general. Many of the people I did want to see on this Top 25 list were not chosen, and many of the people I wanted to choose out of that Top 25 - didn't make my Top 8. I categorized contestants under certain labels to not stereotype them in a negative way, but to compare and contrast the diversities between different groups of people i.e. race, sexual orientation, personality, etc. Even for someone like me who isn't making the final decision on who the top 8 should be, it's hard, because I have to keep in mind that not only should these people be the most engaging and extraordinary out of the top 25, but there has to be 4 guys and 4 girls, a variety of races, and sexual orientations present. This article should in no way influence you to vote for certain contestants; its purpose is to stimulate insight on what kinds of people and issues we should see on the show - intellectual BUT interesting. In fact, you will probably disagree with most of the contestants I picked; BUT, complete with pictures, videos, and analyses, I will explain why I chose HIM and not HER.

So, let me cut to the chase. Here are the Top 25 divided into their various classified species and the Top 8 I chose in each.

1. THE SUCCESS STORY (Salem Moussallam, Anthony Ionadi, and Vonny "The Ken Doll")

While all Top 25 contestants have accomplished greatness - in one way or another - these 3 contestants have been recognized by the public and the media for specific talents.
Salem Moussallam is a triple threat - a fashionista, dancer, and personal trainer - with a brand that has been sported by international stars like Lady GaGa and Ciara. Anthony Ionadi hosted a show on Global TV called "Teens Dating" and has opened for Toronto   
artists like Danny Fernandes and Choclair. Vonny - or "The Ken Doll," as he refers to
himself is a proud Toronto homosexual who has been interviewed on 103.9 PROUD FM, as well as other miscellaneous radio and media stations.

MY CHOICE: VONNY "THE KEN DOLL." Salem Moussallam and Anthony Ionadi may have rocked the entertainment industry, but can they boast effective results in the reality TV entertainment industry? Meanwhile, Vonny hasn't been given the right opportunity to express his sexuality and opinions - until now. Plus, he has enough "beef" aka drama to grill a hamburger - that hamburger being "Lake Shore!"

2. THE ORIGINAL (Letitia Westguard, Peter "The Pole," and Kali "Kalifornia")
While all Top 25 finalists are so unique that it was difficult for me to all put them under one label, these specific contestants were so unorthodox that they deserved to get their own category. Letitia Westguard nonchalantly rollerbladed into the audition room, attempting to "nurture" the audition judges with water and the like. While very easygoing and casual, her very own way of making an entrance was arguably something she would
 only think of. But, Peter "The Pole" rendered more impressive, telling us he once   scarfed down a 72 ounce steak in 6 minutes 48 seconds and burned it off with regular sweat sessions at the gym, along with all the other calories he intakes as a professional competitive eater. Kali "Kalifornia" is a blonde Greek-Filipina and is as a cute as a button. Enough said.

MY CHOICE: KALI "KALIFORNIA." Sure, Letitia's and Peter's audition tapes were more, uh, "creative" than Kali's nice and subtle means, but Kali possesses that cool and cute Snooki vibe that Lake Shore audiences would be craving.

3. THE SEX BOMB - FEMALE (Karolina Czaja, Anni Mei, and Ruby Moreno)

To be considered for this category, you can't just be particularly beautiful. You need to be sexy, and sexiness isn't just measured by the physical - but mental and behavioural. Anni Mei is a redheaded Asian girl who likes boys and girls - and hooking up in moving cars - AND hooking up doggy-style. If all that's true, Anni Mei is defs a sex bomb. As for Ruby Moreno, her provocative black get-up absolutely screams "Latina dancer/dance teacher,"
 but are her moves on the dance floor just as good as her moves off the dance floor? Meanwhile, Karolina didn't have any trouble macking her female best friend and playing with her friend's breasts on camera.

MY CHOICE: KAROLINA CZAJA. Yeah, yeah. I don't wanna hear it :) You have to kiss and take off your clothes to get on TV these days. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe there's some truth to that, but I can say one thing with confidence: Ruby may have dressed sexy and Anni may have talked sexy, but Karolina (and her friend) did sexy. And, on an audition tape, you can't just "talk the talk;" you have to "walk the walk."

4. THE "CHATTY CATHY" (Robyn Purza, Sibel Atlug, Roxie "Persia")                                                
Most of the Top 25 finalists talked (with Lake Shore judges) on their audition tapes, but some ladies took that term too literally. But, there's nothing wrong with having a strong sense of opinion, and these girls prove it! Robyn Purza motorboated and motormouthed her words to the judges, Sibel Atlug taught us about the Turks and Canadians, and Roxie  "Persia" told us why she's not just another "Snookie."
MY CHOICE: ROXIE "PERSIA." This was actually one of the toughest categories for me to choose. I really loved Robyn's energy and Sibel's wisdom, but "Persia" was brutally honest in how she wasn't your typical Canadian/TV star - and that harsh truth is what we need to stabilize - and mobilize - unsmooth waves on the Lake Shore.

5. THE SEX BOMB - MALE (Mark Suzuki, Arber Daci, Ricky Liorti, and Tommy Hollywood)

              These guys are all sexy, but what makes my finalist stand out the most is his chiseled abs, deep voice, and smooth moves (so, basically, everyone listed here - so, ha, I can't tell you now!) Arber Daci flaunted his body in nothing but boxers at Lake Shore auditions, much like he would at his alleged Cancun Spring Break adventure where he was swarmed by cougars and security in counting. Ricky Liorti may have covered himself clothing-wise, but didn't mind throwing off his sex-scapades in doing an "amateur" adult actress and having possibly multiple foursomes. Mark Suzuki played his field of women and transportation tricks on subways, motorcycles, and streets - to a song, without talking. And, finally, Tommy Hollywood Godfathered his way throughout the gym, the beach, and his car. 

MY CHOICE: TOMMY HOLLYWOOD. So many hot guys, so little time - to decide. While all 4 guys amazed me with their well-endowed appearances, Tommy made me laugh with his hilarious sense of humour - and video. Arber may have managed to cause some shenanigans - even outside the country - but he didn't crack as many jokes as Tommy did. Ricky is pretty hot, and I can see why multiple women and men - including porn stars - would want to hump him, but Tommy actually showed me he picked up a girl at the beach. And Mark was a close call, but can you really audition for a reality show - without speaking a word? Meanwhile, Tommy mixed himself into a Situation and Pauly D-kinda recipe with his waxed, gelled, etc. hair and muscular physique.

6. THE BLOND (Kimberly Kerekes, Easton/Dana Chypak, Ashley Corbett)

Bubbly, boobilicious, and - blond, these blonds really do prove that blonds have more fun! Sweet and sexy, Kimberly Kerekes wants a good man - nothing like her famous ex Justin Rego who two-timed her for 3 years with another girl and Ali on The Bachelorette. Ashley Corbett is a Toronto-like Britney Spears in her pink crop-top and blond hair get-up, but her dancing on top of tables and making out with girls is only a fraction of what Britney's done. And if you can only take one blond, you can't handle the heat of twins Easton and Dana who have worked with eachother - in both good and naughty ways, I'm not sure - but take your head out of the gutter! These girls will not commit family crimes for you!

MY CHOICE: THE TWINS - EASTON AND DANA CHYPAK. Maybe Kimberly would make a convenient finalist - with her history and all - but would The Bachelorette and Lake Shore drama really mesh well together? Or would that just be too much? And while Ashley flashed her breasts like a wild child on the audition tape, she wouldn't make up for two girls. But, if we had to choose one twin - because of an uneven number - I wouldn't know who to choose (only because I can't tell them apart). But if we couldn't split them apart, I would pick Ashley as my second choice.

7. THE TOKEN "BLACK GUY" (Carlos Hayles, Manuel Deon aka "Frenchie So Sexy," Alex Hugh)

Of course, I don't mean the term "token black guy" in a racist way. But, one of the objectives of this show is to bring people of different ethnicities together, so here's one of way of distinguishing it. Carlos Hayles loves the female derriere so much that he created a business out of it - Got Ass, a promotional modelling company with models famous for their bootylicious asses. And as much as guys love ass, I think he's the only guy I've heard of that measures girls' asses. Manuel Deon models for a sport's brand and uses his WHOLE (and I mean, whole) body to work out at the gym, not to mention he raps. But, I don't think he can spit game - talking and rapping - as well as his fellow opponent Alex Hugh, not to mention Alex was willing to show all of his goods streaking at auditions, ironically as opposed to Manuel who probably loves to bare that hot bod of his.

MY CHOICE: MANUEL DEON AKA FRENCHIE SO SEXY. I know I said he doesn't rap or strip like Alex can, but come on - Manuel's a model, and he knows what the ladies want i.e. a firm figure and a sophisticated voice that he can swoon girls with, whispering in their ear or ad-libbing in a song. But, if half-black guys count here, I would probably choose Alex Hugh as second.

8. MISCELLANEOUS (Robby Simpson, Melissa K., Joey Violin)

Ok, especially if your name is listed in this category, you're probably thinking "WTF?" No, no, you're not an insignificant matter that can't be reduced to one integral quality. In fact, you're so versatile, so multi talented that you are a little bit of each of the above characteristics - sexy, smart, successful, in your own special way :) Robby Simpson is a Scottish version of The Situation, which you can see when he's shirtless in the audition tape - and, no, we're not complaining. Melissa K. is a tall, dark Persian promo model who can make a karaoke fan jealous with her chops in Queen's "Somebody to Love." And Joey Violin - dances like to a violin: coherent and harmonious.

MY CHOICE: ROBBY SIMPSON. Why? Well, we needed another guy to balance out the girls (so sorry, Melissa) and a Ronny to balance out The Situations in the house (sorry, Joey).


1 comment:

  1. Since you can only vote for one person which category got ur vote!